1. |
Psuedointellectual
03:28
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The hard part is looking you in the eyes.
Its frustrating isn't it?
The memory of the episodes.
Almost as bad as the moment itself.
When your face starts twitching.
Your heart stumbles a bit.
Retiring from crowds.
You're dying quietly right now.
I had a thought the other day:
love is hate in a different color.
I wanted to share it with you [the other day]. But I think you weren't in the mood.
Every moment that I speak is fragility and I feel meek.
Every breathe I take inhabits a system, that is close to a break.
Am I projecting?
Or is my tone that affected?
Well, Is that a bad thing?
I thought that I liked affection.
I'm split in two.
Anxiety and you.
attention split in two.
One with anxiety, the other with you.
You tell yourself, at least you're alive. Im tired of excuses I'm tired of my mind.
You tell yourself, at least I am alive.
Im tired of niceties.
I am tired of life.
Every moment that I speak is fragility and I feel meek.
Every breathe I take inhabits a system, that is close to a break.
I can not hesitate. X2
People depend on me.
I can not hesitate.
It makes it feel longer
It makes me irate.
I can not hesitate.
anxiety speaks to me.
Oh, well can't you see Jon?
You're not under control right now.
Let me take over.
Let fuck with your head right now.
Can't you see Jon?
Your legs can't hold you up right now.
You're falling, imploding, collapsing all towards the ground.
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2. |
Everything is Bland
03:18
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It starts with lies you tell others.
They then become the lies you tell yourself.
And every color is pale,
every food tastes like ash,
And everything makes sense.
Everything is bland.
I miss the blinding light and I miss the black.
The truth is this life is bleak.
There is a grey hue over everything.
And some of you can see past the veil.
And I just call that ignorance.
Well has this knowledge served me?
I can't seem to make it stop.
Give me the pills give me the lot.
I get a cynical smile.
I laugh hysterically at things I know shouldn't.
It's just how I cope
with the existential dread.
Seriously, how this it served me dad? Seriously, how has this served me now? Fuck...
They think they can apologize the pain away. They think they can drown the sadness with liquor. They just wont shut the fuck up. The voices in my head that spew the mud.
The dirt, in the blood
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3. |
Angel Skin
03:36
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Just let me savor it
I want to be told
In this room,
Under this moon,
It's so cold
I can sense it.
I can feel you watching me
Woman, woman, woman
You Little unknown
That I want to hold
I want to take, but I want to be
given. And I want what I can't have.
Exchanging glances; I won't be forgiven. And I want what I can't have.
Angel skin, I have been noticed. You've looked into my eyes.
You smiled in my direction.
Angel skin, my heart is in trouble. Part of me knows you aren't the cure, but the other part is not being subtle.
You
Make me
Elate me
Lonesome soul with
Angel skin
Never look at me again
I shouldn't look at you (x2)
Even if I can't help myself (x2)
There is this hate I feel when I see you, directed inward. There is this shame I feel when I see you, stemmed in everything that I am.
Even this feels like a violation.
I am aware that I shouldn't be doing this; but the chance that a minor smile will surmount is worth everything.
I want to hear your sense of self
I want to steal you, for myself
(lyrics overlap)
I want
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4. |
Practice Your Smile
03:03
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Your job and your worries aren't that important.
Your quarterly deliverables are not important.
In your cubicle, you putrid, moronic pig.
What a sad waste of time your existence has been.
2 decades gone by in an indentured servitude.
Sometimes i want to kill you out of pity.
I'm looking down on you spinning in place.
It feels like you're wasting the air that you breathe.
Do you ever ponder what your story has been?
I hope the shame of it will make you hate yourself.
You disgust me. Your odor, your prose, your arrogance and just...
that fucking face that make when you think you have a point.
Take pride in representing everything wrong with the system.
You're driven by an ego conflating wealth and fulfillment.
Is your purpose just to answer that IP Cisco phone?
Selling lies on commission, a financial whore.
You have the charisma of a damp rag.
Stop taking yourself so seriously you're an embarrassment .
Every time I talk to you I make a fucking fist
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blackbile. Denver, Colorado
HEAVY MUSIC HAILING FROM DENVER
P on GUITAR/VOX
J on DRUMS
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